For starters, I'm thankful. Like really, really thankful. Just in general and overall. The past year and a half have been the best I've seen in a while. I won't go into all of the sh*t that many of the last few years have brought with them; I want to keep this on the up and up and up. So, I'm going to review some of the things that I'm *REALLY* super-mega thankful for, and while I'm not going to harp on the negatives, I'd also like to take this opportunity to think-out-loud (and by out-loud I mean with typing <click, click, click>) about some things that are within my power to change that I'd like to work on, so that I can be even thankfuller next year.
Here goes (in no particular order):
1. THAT BOY (AKA: D, Daryl, Dude, Boyfriend)
I'm in love. Like really in love. I thought I was in love that one other time, but man, I was wrong. This guy "gets me". I get this guy. I feel like I'm my most self when I'm with him (note: this is NOT the same as best self). I don't wanna use the term soul-mates, because damn! that's some lame-ass sh*t, but he is the closest thing I've ever found. He makes me laugh out-loud about a billion times a day. He understands when I'm filled with grump-a-lumps that it isn't him, it's definitely me, and importantly he knows exactly what to do to be helpful. He is a real partner in my whole life. If something good happens, he is there and ready to celebrate (even little victories). If something bad happens, he is there and ready to console me (even the stupid little sh*t). He's a helper around the house and with the manimals. He's a work-buddy on the weekends. He's a workout buddy in the rare occasion that I actually want to go to the gym. He makes all activities better, even mundane things like going for groceries. It feels 100% equal and reciprocal and filled with all things that are good. I'm thankful for Daryl and for love and for Daryl's love and for snacks, which Daryl often makes for me!
2. MY FAM
My family has had some real issues in the past (again, not the time or place), but I love them. Each and every one of them. Mom would do ANYTHING for any of her kids (for better or worse). Jodi and I are closer than ever before, which is great because she also gets parts of me that no one else gets. Aaron and I are also getting closer. Avery is an absolute JOY, even when she is filled with cranky, she is hilarious. And of course, there is Gram, who is always Gram, and who is just about the definition of love. And for all of that, I'm thankful for...um...ancestry?
3. MY FRIENDS
I was really, really, really worried when I moved to Miami that I'd be friendless for a while. It is HARD to make friends as an adult. You don't have a "cohort". You don't all live in the same building. It is tough. But I have been lucky. I'm slowly building a local friend-base, and I really love them! I don't get to spend as much time with them as I'd like, but when we get together, it is fun-times ahoy. Then, there are those who I don't get to spend ANY time with... My friends who are far away. Fortunately, we live in the 90s, and there is modern technology that allows me to talk with these folks...sometimes. Our busy lives have kept us from being in as close of contact as I would like, but with many of these friends, I feel like we haven't missed a beat and that I know what's going on in most of your lives, thanks to the magic of the Internet. Thanks, Internet!
----WORKIN' ON IT BREAK-----
Even though I'm exceedingly thankful for my boy, my family, and my friends, I do worry sometimes that I let myself get in the way from being as close to the people in my life as I could be. Intimacy is HARD for me, especially emotional intimacy, and so, I'd like to work on that in the coming year. I'd like to work to be more emotionally open with D, my friends, and my family.
4. MY HEALTH
I've been sick a lot in the past. It has never been anything serious, but I have definitely had my fair share of sinus infections, colds, bronchitis, and the like. I even got pneumonia in Florida. Who does that?! But, it turns out that this is almost assuredly due to horrible allergies that I just never knew I had! I'm on some pretty intense allergy medications now (and I'm getting allergy shots), and man, I haven't felt this good in years. I'm getting fewer "colds", and the ones I have gotten have been mild in comparison. And so, I'm thankful for immunotherapy!
5. MY WORK
I complain about work a lot. It can be stressful, but few things in live bring me as much joy and nothing gives me the feeling of accomplishment that comes with big and small victories at work. I've had a super-productive year and a half, but there is always room for more. I'm thankful for finding a career that I don't only love, but that I can't imagine not doing.
6. MY STUFF
This one feels weird, but I am, I'm thankful for my stuff. I've truly got everyTHING that I need. Momma Musser keeps asking me what I want for Christmas, but for once, there is nothing that I really need. My apartment, just fine. My car, totally decent. My other sh*t, good enough. There are so many folks in this world who don't even have enough to eat, let alone the amount of stuff that I have, and I'm thankful that my really basic (and not so basic) needs are being met.
----WORKIN' ON IT BREAK-----
Again, even though I'm entirely thankful for my health, work, and general stuff, I do worry about each of these things a bit. Health-wise, I've gained some substantial weight over the past 1.5 years. I think this is likely due to the fact that I sit on my big ol' butt for 12+ hours per day, then sleep for 8 more. Also, delicious, delicious chocolate and snacks. And so, in the coming year, I'd like to increase my overall activity level and water intake and decrease my sugar intake. In terms of work, I'm really pushing myself here, there isn't much more I can be doing. I waste a ton of time while I'm working, but to some degree, I think I need that to maintain my sanity. So, for the coming year, in the work domain, I'd like to work to give myself a little bit of a break and cut myself some slack about work-stuff. Too often, I tie my entire self-worth to how I'm doing at work or how hard I'm working. That's so not legit. I'm much more than a psychologist, even though I forget it a lot. Stuff-wise, again, I really have everything I need, but with that, I also have a BIG debt. I owe student loan companies the equivalent of condo, and I owe credit card companies way more than I ought to. So, my goal for this year in the stuff-area is to cut back on unnecessary spending (like on coffee and/or lunches that I could make at home for less than half the cost) and bump up my debt payments.
I'd say that's the bulk of it. Overall, my life is going pretty damn well, and luckily, everything that isn't completely stellar is pretty within my control to improve. THANKS for EVERYTHING.
