Oh sh*t! Here we go... The inaugural How Not To Pick Up a Woman post!

So, I changed my profile location to Miami, maybe, 2 or 3 weeks ago.  Since then, the barrage of inane messages has served as another reminder that I'm not in Portland anymore.  

Here is the part that is most concerning, the messages in PDX were generally amusing, as you all are aware, the ratio of decent/fair:abysmal was way in the favor of ridiculous most of the time.  Need I remind you of the dude who told me he was going to play a Jedi mind trick on me to get me into bed?  Yeah, dude, that's actually called "date rape" and your "the Force", I'm assuming is rohypnol.  No thanks.   

It seems Miami has generally been the opposite.  Pretty much (with a few actually good message exceptions--one dude in particular has been really helpful in answering my ?s) they've all been generally vanilla, "Sup?!" type messages.  Though, I have already had TWO marriage proposals.  So, I have that going for me.

I'd say the biggest thing of note this far has been the giant shift in Match, Friend, and Enemy percentage ratings that has happened since changing over.  

For those of you who don't know about OKCupid, you better ask somebody.  Or better still, I could just tell you right now.  It is actually a pretty neat little idea that has gone horribly wrong in a lot of ways, but man, it sure does make for good comedy.  

The greatest thing about OKCupid is it is FREE.  The worst thing about OKCupid is it is free.  I'll let you draw your own conclusions there.  The second best thing about OKCupid is their use of data and technology.  Much the same way that Facebook uses information on their members to allow for awesome social research, OKC does the same, but with a romantical edge.
Also, they use some pretty nifty algorithms to determine your Match %, Friend %, and Enemy %.  

Here is the funny thing, in PDX, I rarely saw anyone with whom I was less than a 75% Match, in fact most folks who messaged me were 85% and above, and we all saw how well that turned out.  Man, has that changed.  I'm regularly getting messages from dudes with whom I match at or BELOW 50%.  

Dude, why would I want to date you, if we are a failing grade.  I don't really FAIL at things (except sometimes life, which is beside the point).  In fact, I don't really want to date someone if we are less than a B+, and I'd say that is being generous.  I know, I know, you're thinking, "Erica, you may not be representative of most of the folks on the ol' OKC.  You're pretty happy with your life the way it is.  You're no really LOOKING/SEARCHING/HOPING for a mate."  The thing that is different for me now, though, is what I've mentioned here before, I know TWO people in Miami.  Even if things don't end up romantic, it is hard to meet new folks, and I was (maybe misguidedly) hoping that OKC might be one way of doing that.  Again, I've been in touch with a couple rad folks, so it hasn't been a total bust, but damn, it seems like if me and Miami were going to try for something relationshipy, the best we'd be able to do is about a C-.  I'd say the bulk of folks checking me out have been in that range.  

Oh yeah, OKC also let's you know who has looked at your profile and when. In fact, here is a great secondary-bonus HNTPUAW: Rule #67: The maybe try to be an actual stalker rule.  
HNTPUAW 67--Hey there, Friend, so you sent me a message, and I didn't write back.  I think you can take that as a pretty safe bet that I'm not that interested.  No need to check back 2-3 times per day for 3 weeks after that.  Look, John Hinkley, Jr.,  I don't want to be your Jodie Foster, but thanks for the offer. You're creeping me out.

OK, this has fallen a little off-track, here is the actual post for HNTPUAW for today:
 
How Not To Pick Up A Woman:  Rule #3:  The ask her a bunch of cliche questions as an introduction rule.

And I quote, "bienvenido a Miami! Well, at least until August :) Hi I'm Drew, born and raised around here. So what do you like to do for fun? What keeps you busy these days?"

Jesus God in Heaven on the Cross, I swear, if you can't glean that information from my profile, you are probably illiterate, and let me refer you to services for that, but we probably have about zero in common because I spend about 87% of my waking hours reading in some form, whether it is for work or fun or just regular living.  

Or maybe you can read, and you are just really, really boring.  Irregardless, no thanks.

Oh shit!  Here we go...

Miami, see you on Monday.