How Not to Pick Up a Woman: Rule # 7: The there goes my gun rule.

In response to my self-summary, which was obviously written in jest and reads as follows:
"I know exactly 2 people in Miami (aside from the folks I met in my department), so I'm looking to get to know some neat new folks. Scary serial killer types should know that the 2 people I do know in Miami are big, strong dudes who definitely pack heat, keep tabs on my location at all times, and will take you down if you think about physically hurting me in any way. Just a public service announcement."

 And I quote, "big strong n pack heat lmao!!! U just described 60% of the guys here!!! Word of advice Internet threats aren't scary. I suggest getting a taser or take a gun class n get a gun if your that worried. I got a 380 for ex girlfriend it was the best thing I could by her. I'm not saying Mia is that bad but there r good places n bad places like every town. Me!!!?? I live in ft lauderdale n work in Miami. That city is too stupid for me, but good on ur new adventure beautiful it definitely won't b hard for u to find a guy! Any questions feel free to hit me up. As a born n raised Floridian it's my duty to give u the run down! :0)"

Alternate post title: The How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love...Oh Wait, Nope, Still Worried rule.

Seriously, Friend, you saw my pictures, you read my profile, and you think *I* should have a gun.  What about my profile screamed "active member of the NRA" to you?  I *HATE* guns.  They make me nervous even in the best of hands, and they make me terrified in the worst of hands.  I'm a pro-super-mega-delux gun control proponent.  I don't need a gun, and you don't either.